Monday, February 18, 2013

He Sees

Today I’m thankful for a God who sees me. I’m thankful for a God who is so massive and strong, but looks down on me and calls me His daughter. I’m thankful for a God who never loses interest in me; a God who doesn’t miss one anxious thought, one wide awake night, one desperate tear. He sees and He knows. They say God will never give you more than you can handle. Well, I know for a fact that I am not strong enough for what He’s been giving me. I’m not strong enough to be this far away from my little sister’s laugh and my Mom’s wise words and my Dad’s Saturday morning pancakes. I’m not strong enough to hear a drunk grandmother verbally abuse the malnourished baby in my lap, praying that God will protect her. I’m not strong enough to look at my friend’s lifeless body, eyes still open, wrapped up in a sheet and pushed to the corner of a back room in Mulago Hospital. I can’t handle it. But He sees all of it. He sees my broken, mess of a heart and says “Let me be your strength.” God has given me a tiny glimpse of what He sees, and now my strength is not enough. I know that as I keep choosing to take up my cross and follow Jesus, things will only get harder. God will keep giving me more than I can handle, and I will either have to give up, or surrender. My prayer is that I will always choose to surrender to the God who sees my whole heart, even the messy parts, and loves me anyway.

3 comments:

  1. Sweet granddaughter,
    My prayers are that God will continue to give you the strength to handle all the difficult situations you encounter there in Uganda. And, you're right. God knows your strength or He wouldn't have called you to minister to those sweet ladies and babies in Africa. I think you have amazing courage and strength and are such an inspiration to me and everyone who knows you. I always look forward to reading your sweet words. Love you and miss you! Gammy

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  2. Natalie, from half-way around the world, you encouraged me with these words. We are fighting an enemy that is not flesh and blood. We are in a battle, but our victory is sure. I needed to be reminded of this. You are an amazing young sister. I am not looking down on your youth, I am applauding it and celebrating it. At 50 years old, I can tell you there is NOTHING in this world that will satisfy other than our Lord. We each have our own race to run. You have been called to where you are for now. Love is a verb. You are loving those around you. You are a gift to the body. You are in my prayers for your physical needs. You friend and sister from BAF, Tina

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  3. Just beautiful truth here girl! I'm learning to surrender all over again. God sees and I want to see like him! I just got back from Guatemala and they call it "little Africa" as the poverty is so devastating. I'm thankful you are surrendering to where God has you and each moment. Love you

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